Moses' Wanderings
Of all the incredible sights we got to see on our two day tour of Mt. Sinai and the surrounding region - perhaps the most impactful reality that struck me was in fact none of these. It wasn’t standing in the split of the magnificent rock where God provided water for thousands of Israelites. It wasn’t in finding historic petroglyphs of calf worship or exploring the possible remnants of the 12 pillars and the site of Moses’ altar. It wasn’t even setting foot on the mountain itself. The thing that jumped out at me as we walked along the rocky paths, climbing over boulders, making our way around thorny bushes, reverently passing tombs and burial sites, was the barrenness of the land. This was the wilderness Moses had lived in for 40 years tending sheep and then came back to for another 40 years leading a “flock” of rebellious and irritated Israelites.
I knew that Moses had fled to Midian and there had encountered the angel of the Lord in a burning bush on Mt. Horeb (another name for Mt. Sinai), but hadn’t fully realized the proximity of these places until we visited Jethro’s tombs (so called by the locals and apparently undisputed). Standing at the beautifully carved sandstone entrance, looking back from where we had driven, I could still clearly see the blackened top of Mt. Sinai sticking out from the mountain range. This was most likely the plains where Moses grazed his sheep and much later, where Jethro would have seen the fire of God coming down on the mountain after Moses brought the Israelites out of Egypt.
A thorny acacia near where the Israelites may have camped
When we think of Moses, we tend to think of the man who performed miraculous signs in front of the greatest ruler in the ancient world. We commemorate him as the leader of God’s chosen people, the one who talked face to face with God as with a friend. We desire to be like the man who so boldly asked God to show him His glory, yet are willing to walk in the wilderness for 80 years? Can you imagine how demoralizing and pointless that must have felt? Especially after the first 40 years and he’s finally fulfilling his dream as a leader only to wander again because of the people’s disobedience. I thought again about the Lord’s offer to Moses: “Step aside and let Me destroy these people! Then I will make you into a great nation.” How appealing that must have sounded! How refreshing after years in exile! I think that the younger Moses would have said “yes” in a heart beat. Yet what is it that Moses had learned in the 40 years in the wilderness that made him reply: “No, do not do this for then the nations will say, ‘Their God brought them out to the wilderness to kill them.’”?
Perhaps he had wrestled with this very thought himself when he had been exiled from Egypt. It seems from his conversation with the angel of the Lord at the burning bush that after those first 40 years in the wilderness, he had a pretty low expectation of what the Lord would do through him. After all had he not tried to be the leader that Israel needed and failed miserably? He tries desperately to convince the Lord that he is not fit to be the leader and in the end exasperated - cries out: “Send someone else!” In essence, “I’m not the guy you’re looking for. You made a mistake.” But in the end, perhaps a little unwillingly, Moses goes. He meets his brother Aaron (also at the mountain of the Lord) and returns with him to Egypt sharing the message God has given him. Notice this time, he’s not reacting to the Israelites’ oppression. Rather he simply shares what the Lord has given him to do and say and this time they listen.
Fast forward to the Israelites leaving Egypt and crossing the Red Sea. Moses now has history with the Lord. As he brings the approximately 2 million people across the desert of Sinai to the mountain of God, he experiences the confirmation God had promised: “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.” Moses now had seen the mighty hand of the Lord at work in Egypt and heard the voice of the Lord on the mountain. He had watched the Lord make a way through the Red Sea and provide food in the wilderness. He could have told the Lord, “Yes, destroy those stiff-necked people and make me a great nation as You have said.”
Perhaps in that moment he remembered how he had given up hope in the wilderness and forgotten who God was. Perhaps he thought of the promises that he had always hoped were true but had slowly begun to lose faith in. Perhaps something deep inside of him desired, more than his own fame, to be a part of a story that was so much bigger than himself. In humility, Moses interceded: “Turn from your fierce anger; relent and do not bring disaster on your people. Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac and Israel to whom you swore by your own self: ‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and I will give your descendants all this land I promised them, and it will be their inheritance forever.’” And the Lord relented.
I think I finally began to understand why Moses could write of himself, “he was the most humble man.” Those first 40 years in the wilderness prepared his heart to shepherd the Israelites through a similar wilderness for another 40 years. In surrendering his need to be the strong one or leave a name for himself, he became a type of Christ, a mediator between God and His people. What he walked out on this earth was not a glamorous adventure to a land full of promise, but a pilgrimage of hope, wandering in a desert where he never got to see the fulfillment of the promise he longed for. Yet Scripture says later in Hebrews, “by faith, [Moses] persevered because he saw Him who is invisible.” This is what gave Moses the courage to go on. And this is the only thing that will continue to give us the courage we need to walk in faith on this earth.
"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed"
Jn. 20:29
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