Running with Perseverance

Heat, burning sun, dusty haze, tired legs - running 21k in a desert country is far from ideal. I approached 16k and my stamina began to wane. Why was the way so far and my feet so sore? I'm used to being able to tell my body to just keep going and it will, but I was starting to have second thoughts. My right calf was in pain every time I extended it too quickly or too far. My head felt a bit faint from the heat of the sun. I began to wonder what would happen if I lost the willpower to go on. Who would stop for me? Who would know that I wasn't ok? 

Our path marked out for us ran between construction sites and flat arid desert. Occasionally we were running by store fronts or across a main street, but otherwise the way stretched ahead void of pleasant distractions or interesting views. The mental battle raged on as I tried to push on, to hold onto some pleasant thought that might give me stamina to go on. The silence in my mind was deafening.Though music bounced off my ear drums from my AirPods all I could really hear was the sound of my own breathing and my feet hitting the asphalt. 

Trying to distract myself, I looked around me to see if I could match myself to someone else's stride and increase my pace. A quick spasm of pain in my calf reminded me that I needed to slow down, to keep a steady pace. The still, small voice inside me whispered, "Stay steady, don't compare yourself". Later, when many others started to walk, He whispered again, "This is your race to run. Don't gauge how you're doing off of others. You get to choose how you will run this race and you won't make excuses based off of someone else's speed."

Why do we as Christians run the race that is before us? What is it that keeps us going when everything around us makes us want to quit? Some might say it is for the joy of finishing the race and getting to heaven, but I began to ponder on this day as I ran, perhaps in that very place of discomfort and pain that we are the very closest to God. Or at least we are the most aware of how much we need God. Is that not our desire as believers to ever grow closer to the heart of our Father?  Then is not that place of dependency on God the very thing that I desire?

In the words of our Lord Jesus, "Blessed are the poor in spirit..." aka - those who are deeply aware and understand their utter dependence on God are in a state of blessedness. Why? "...for theirs IS the kingdom of heaven." Present tense IS. When I am in tough, painful situations where I see just how weak my flesh is and just how much I need the Lord, I am blessed! For it is there that I can grow closer to the Lord in ways I never thought possible and receive His kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven. It is His good pleasure to sustain and hold us up in the times of trial and pain, so that in all things God may be praised through Christ Jesus. 

That day I finished the 21k. I didn't get a personal record time and I crossed the finish line with more of a limp than a sprint. I came away with a very clear reminder that my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart. My willpower may give out, my patience will end, but His will not. May my heart always have a limp of sorts so that I may never forget my utter dependence on God and His absolute delight to meet me in that place of need.