The God of Goodness

It was our last day in the eternal city. Once again Stephen and I woke up to the sun shining and a slight chance of rain. We had packed a lot into our first two days, so we were ready to just explore and see where our feet took us on the ancient roads.  I put on some shorts and grabbed a rain jacket just in case as we headed out the door. 

After a delicious cappuccino and pastry along the way, our feet followed the cobblestones towards the Tiber River. Our trip had happened to coincide with a momentous occasion as the pope had passed away a few days earlier and currently his heir was being chosen. Rumors were flying around as to what was happening in the Vatican City. Were tourists allowed in? Would St. Peter's Basilica which just a few days prior being all over the news now be just another tourist site? I knew for sure the Sistine Chapel was in use for this historic moment of choosing the next pope and didn't figure to bother checking any of the other sites as I assumed the would all be closed for a time. 

Meanwhile, our steps approached the walls of the Vatican City and walls they were! I had mistakenly imagined that one could roam around the basilica grounds and admire the buildings without entering them. However, instead we found the entrance barricaded and massive fortress walls surrounding the entire complex. After wandering the entire perimeter and realizing there was no other way in, we decided to see if we could at least get up closer to get a picture of St. Peter's Basilica. 

We approached the security and they waved us through as if we were meant to be there. Then, we headed through the security scanner and walking on, no one stopped us. I thought it was all a bit strange, but there were others coming along behind us so we decided to just follow the crowd towards the entrance. I figured maybe we would get stopped at the entrance of the building for a ticket. Slowly, we ascended the grand marble staircase and noticed that though there were guards at the entrance they didn't seem to be stopping anyone. I caught a glimpse of the shimmering gold inside and heard the gorgeous notes of a choir in worshipful adoration. Now I really wanted to see what was inside! 

Just then, a security guard stepped into our path blocking our entrance. Pointing at my legs, he said, "The lady must have her knees covered to enter. No shorts allowed." I was mortified and angry, but I wasn't going to allow my clothing choice to stop Stephen from entering. So, I respectfully waited outside while my husband entered the grandeur hidden from my view. 

I wandered over to the balcony railing overlooking the courtyard still full of chairs all lined up for the funeral a few days prior. My eyes were brimming with tears at the disappointment of being turned away when I was so close to getting in. I could hear the melody of the choir echoing across the marble floors and inside I ranted to the Lord. Why had He brought me this close for me not to enter? Why did it have to be my clothing that kept me from going in? Didn't He care? As the tears slid down my face, the heavens started to weep as well. "At least I had thought to bring my rain jacket and umbrella!" I thought bitterly shivering in the now cool, wet breeze. 

In the center of the courtyard stood a cross on a pinnacle. I gazed at it for awhile thinking about what it meant. As my tears subsided, the truth of how much He really does care began to sink in. Even though I had been denied entrance to an earthly dwelling, I would never be denied access to the presence of the King of kings. Suddenly, just as if the clouds were reading my thoughts, they stopped their tears and the sunlight burst through directly onto the cross. 

Stephen came hurrying out of the basilica, "Joanna, you have to see inside!" Of course I had wanted to see inside all along, but I swallowed my bad attitude and we brainstormed how I could get in. Finally, I tied the raincoat around my waist, held the umbrella over my knees and hoped for the best. To my surprise, we walked right in! The beauty of the carvings, the ornate details and the alter stunned me, but the best part of all was the throne scene. I stood in awe at the story being displayed in black stone and gold covering - Moses, Elijah, St. Peter and St. Paul holding the four corners of the throne - empty, awaiting the rightful King. While the sun shone through the golden stained glass picturing a dove hovering over the throne, waiting in anticipation for the glory to be revealed in fullness.  

Marveling at the Lord's goodness, the two of us walked out together back into the sunshine. How had I been standing on this same balcony just a short while ago in tears questioning the goodness of God? God had not only given us something that I didn't expect (entrance to the basilica) but had also far surpassed our expectations!! He had covered my "nakedness" (exposed knees) and shown me a beautiful, physical depiction of His glory, not because He owed me anything, but because He cared. If He can care for us in such simple ways, can He also not care for the magnitude of our entire lives and those that come after us?